


Released

by HannaLovesCake



Category: Looking for Alaska - John Green
Genre: Boarding School, Car Accidents, School, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannaLovesCake/pseuds/HannaLovesCake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alaskas thoughts before her 'accident'. One shot</p>
            </blockquote>





	Released

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all,  
> Nothing like a happy oneshot. So I finally got round to reading Looking for Alaska and I think it's clear her accident was intentional so I quickly wrote this. Not sure if I'm happy with it or not so opinions would be appreciated :)

Her heart raced. How could she have forgotten? How could it have possibly slipped her mind? She was a terrible, awful person. She ignored the tightening sick feeling in her stomach. She deserved this pain. How could she have forgotten? How? It wasn't something she had ever not remembered before. What had changed?

  _Alcohol ruined lives_ , she remember reading. _Bullshit. Makes mine worth enduring_ , the cruel voice in her head taunted.

 She forgot. Why why why. She was too busy with boys and alcohol and smoking to remember her own mother. What a pathetic excuse for a human. How could she regard her late mother below her fun?

Panic set in. She had to be with her mother. Tell her how sorry she was and that she would never ever forget again. She put her foot on the pedal.

But wait.

 What if she could always be with her mother? She wouldn't have to worry about forgetting again.

She would get to _see_ her. _Touch_ her. Be _with_ her. Yes yes yes yes yes. But how?

She saw lights ahead. A car. Perfect timing. Maybe even fate. This was her destiny. She was so bad at life, so it was only logical for death to be the answer.

 A thousand images flashed in the back of her mind. Her dad, the Colonel, Jake, that annoying girl down the hall from her room, Pudge coughing from his first ever drag of a cigarette. They were all better of this way and she got to be with her mum. This was right.

 She drove as fast as her car would, although it would never match the speed of her soon-to-be-not beating heart.

She didn't even feel the impact. Just the burst of freedom as her mind was thrown from her body. Finally released to be with her mother.

 

 

The way it was suppose to be.


End file.
